Federal government rumoured to ban consumption of Chinese food by all of its employees. This move follows concerns with the potential infiltration of government agencies by China. National security worries have grown exponentially in recent years. It is thought that public servants in sensitive departments could be coerced through culinary means. It follows an observed rise in the consumption of Oriental delicacies, especially at lunchtime. Pink stained collars and ties in government offices are not uncommon following servings of sweet and sour pork. A proliferation of used chop sticks have been found, according to waste management operatives employed in the Capital.
Senior Public Servant Denies Liking Chinese Food
A senior public servant employed in the cabinet department told us, “there is far too much of this kind of thing going on. It is not a good look for the staff of ministers and those of us in the bureaucracy to be engaged in this type of behaviour. The general public need to know whose side we are on and our commitment to our own national values.” When asked what his own personal opinion on Chinese food was and whether he consumed this fare at home? He replied, “it’s not my favourite takeaway and I am more of a pizza kind of guy.”
Government Ban on Chinese Food Flies National Security Flag
A ban on the consumption of Chinese food by government employees is seen as lessening the possible secretion of PRC values into those steering the national ship. Too much sweet and sour and Chinese five spice is thought to interfere with the resolve of those on the frontline of the decision making process in the Capital. A screening process will be instigated at the entrance of all government buildings, with trained guards looking for spring roll pastry flakes and soy sauce stains. Renewed vigilance will be the theme underpinning national security policy going forward.
Members of the Chinese community were shocked to learn of this rumoured move by the federal government. Many restaurateurs and members of their staff were outraged and shocked by such a course of action. The damage to businesses within this section of the community will be substantial if it goes ahead. “This is paranoia gone mad,” the owner of the Red Lantern restaurant said. “My family has been serving Chinese food here for more than a century. Our history is entwined with the history of this country. Fried rice is an iconic dish of the West.”