Watching the cricket over the summer holidays is a well-trodden Australian tradition. Now, into the back half of my fifth decade I have indulged in this safe past time during the pandemic. “I don’t like cricket,” so the song goes, but unlike 10CC I don’t love it and never have. Therefore, I offer a fresh perspective on this televised game and test of patience. Test cricket, according to the purists, is the true format of the game loved by a billion Indians. Here is a brief review of an Australian summer of cricket on the box.

Test Cricket is An Anachronism

Test cricket is an anachronism, a game that can take 5 days to complete in an age of instant communication and expectations. In this instance, 22 white clad sportsmen toiling away under the hot Australian sun for some 8 hours a day is a challenge within itself. I feel for the fast bowlers who run in to overarm hurl a leather cricket ball at three wooden stumps some 20 metres away. The game is played upon vast expanses of green grass, with a strip of packed dirt down the middle called a pitch. Two batsmen take turns to wield the willow in a bid to hit the ball out toward the far edges of the oval from the bowlers’ 90 to 150km an hour round-arm throws. Runs between the wickets are amassed singly and by twos, threes, fours and sixes. Eleven batsmen per innings take their scheduled opportunities at the crease in a bid to a achieve a total of runs for their team. Umpires adjudge a cornucopia of rules and protocols, which must be honourably adhered to. Test cricket is long and strictly ordered like a physical symphony, with many movements and the occasional athletic sonata.

Australia Vs India: Cricket’s New Rivalry

Australia, over a century of cricket, has traditionally fired up for annual contests with England, the mother country. This summer we renew hostilities with India, the 21C powerhouse of world cricket. India, through its colonial connection with Britain, has developed a love of cricket rarely seen on the world stage.  National teams represent their countries in test cricket and these sporting contests satisfy the human appetite for tests of prowess and courage. Aussie fans, usually, attend the cricket in droves for these national matches but Covid has pared these numbers down. TV audiences for test cricket are always prodigious and this Australian summer of cricket on the box is no exception.

Cricket is presented by a free to air channel and a subscription channel in Australia in 2021. This is a relatively new arrangement, with the game of a nation traditionally programmed by a single free to air network over decades. Cricket is a colonial age cultural pastime, with its roots in a whiter Australia. A look at the Australian first eleven sees pale complexions reflected back in the faces and a preponderance of Anglo-Saxon names. Cricket was a game for the colonial masters, which has morphed into something else in Indian hands. The televised presentation of test cricket involves a bevy of former players from bygone years on both networks commentating on this very long game.

On Fox cricket, the new kid on the block, and the offering I watched over four weeks of test cricket, some 10 personalities ticked most important demographics on the cricket spectrum. Isa Guha is a woman and her gender has been sorely missing from a century of cricket commentary in Australia and elsewhere around the world. She is also an Anglo-Indian, an English cricketer formerly from the women’s team. Harsha Bhogle is a former Indian cricketer hooked up by the wonders of modern technology to commentate from the subcontinent on this series. Kerry O’Keeffe is a septuagenarian and former spin bowler from the golden age of cricket. Shane Warne probably needs no introduction for many in Australia and on Planet Cricket. Mark Waugh is the junior twin from another time when Australia were the kings of cricket. Allan Border captained Australia’s revival of cricketing fortunes in the late 70’s until 1994. Mark Howard is the sporting media professional on the team, anchoring things. Brett Lee, Mr Cricket, Brendon Julian and Adam Gilchrist round the team out.

Cricket, unlike some faster sports like football, presents periods of not much happening and, therefore, the viewer spends large amounts of time listening to this legion of commentators. Speculation is the chief ammunition of the cricket commentator in 2021. I have heard commentators speculating on the why’s and what for’s ad nauseum during this test cricket series. The imaginative efforts involved have, at times, been spectacularly worthy. How young debutant cricketers must be feeling and the reasons why  this is so. Too many cooks can spoil the broth and with so many expert opinions being expounded the viewer can be inundated with hot air on a summer’s day. Shane Warne is the most voluble and aggressive member of the Fox cricket commentary panel. He is like the bloke you meet down the pub, who has had a few and has an answer for everything. The champion leg spinner is, obviously, an enthusiastic fellow and brings passion to his commentary.  Isa Guha is like water in a cooling stream contrasting the cut and thrust of too many retired cricketers in a small booth. The modern commentary team lacks an appreciation of Simon and Garfunkel and the sound of silence. It seems like they are all trying too hard to earn their fees with too much expert opinion.

Speculative guff reached its apogee with Kerry O’Keeffe and the science of the slow eye. Skull’s offering was the perfect example of a little knowledge being a dangerous thing. Applying things out of context is never an exact science and images of fast bowler Mitch Starc closing his eyes for a microsecond before releasing the ball was way out of line. The attention of a nation is upon these 22 test cricketers and our view is distorted through the lenses of these sporting media dilettantes. It is no wonder that false impressions and wildly exaggerated ones are foisted upon the Australian viewing public.

Listening to hour upon hour of speculative guff voiced by these earnest cricket commentators can transport the viewer away from what is actually taking place on a cricket ground somewhere in the real world. Balls are bowled, struck by bats and thrown from hand to hand across vast distances. Did you know that the Gabba is the bounciest pitch in the world? Did you know that Cheteshwar Pujara has faced twice as many balls than any other Indian cricketer contesting Australia in this series? They call him The Sponge and Alcatraz. India has outperformed Australia in test cricket in recent years and they are continually holding the home side at bay this summer. This is despite the injuries that the Aussie fast bowlers have wreaked upon several of their batsmen. India has depth in the squad they have brought to this pandemic test series.

India has consistently looked the better batting team, whilst Australian batsmen have appeared uncomfortable at the crease and underwhelmed us with their performances. The twitchy twins of Smith and Labuschagne have been the more accomplished performers with willow in hand. ‘On the spectrum’ has entered the modern lexicon and Steve Smith’s behavioural oddities must surely demand a diagnosis. In fact, it is good to see unique and diverse peculiarities make their way into the traditionally bland cultural identity of the Australian cricketer. An Australian summer of cricket on the box in the year of the pandemic deserves such fare.

The Indian test cricket team survived the last day batting in Sydney to draw the match, when all Aussie commentators assured us that this was an impossible task. It seems that statistics from the past cannot confidently predict outcomes in this year of the pandemic. India is no longer the little brother or poor relation of Australian cricket. The Indians walk tall and bat with talent and prowess. Yesterday’s failings are of no concern to the members of this team. Many of their bowlers have been injured by the demands of this keenly fought contest and still they present replacements able to take Australian wickets. Expert Aussie commentators are hard pressed to understand their continued consistent achievements in each of these test matches. I write this on the final day of the fourth test in Brisbane and Australia remains relatively frustrated in their inability to take Indian wickets. The Aussies require 10 wickets and they face inclement weather in addition to fierce Indian batsmen. It is a race against time and the quality of this excellent team from the subcontinent. India only has to draw the series to maintain its grasp on the Border Gavaskar trophy.

All the commentators have been generous with their praise for the quality and character of Indian cricket displayed during this series. Politically correct and genuinely felt have been the paeans expressed across the board. The Australian fans in Sydney, a few of them anyway, were called out for racist comments flung over the fence at Indian players. The racist heart of Australia was there for all to see, in similar scenes to those faced by Adam Goodes in the AFL,  and it took 2 days for cricket ground officials and police to act and cast the offenders out. Sport brings out the worst in some people.

Tim Paine, the captain of the Australian test team, was sanctioned for his unsportsmanlike and off-colour language during the third test in Sydney. Sledging, which is the verbal abuse of opposing batsmen by the Australian cricket team during play, has, apparently, never gone away. To me, I find the behaviour abhorrent and the sign of mental weakness. Some say it is all good-natured ribbing but I would prefer if they let their actions do the talking and not their smart mouths.

Regional areas in Australia are for the most part bastions of white Australia and this is why political parties like One Nation thrive there. Racism is far more prevalent and obvious in these country towns and surrounds. A sizable proportion of top line cricketers and sportspeople generally come from regional areas. Sport is hugely important to local communities in rural and outback regions. Isolation and exclusion from contact with multicultural ethnicities allows outdated attitudes like racism to survive. People are afraid of what they don’t know. These fears are exploited by groups like One Nation and other xenophobic organisations. Australian cricketers may grow up in communities like these but regular contact with other countries and people from these places expand their views on these matters.

Pat Cummins from the Vulture Street end at the Gabba has a certain menacing ring to it. Bodyline bowling targets the opposing batsman’s body and it is a game of attrition. Currently, the Aussies have only managed to take two wickets and the Indian cricket team are scoring plenty of runs. Our Fox cricket commentators, who once were so confident of a local victory are talking about an Indian victory. Cummins just took the wicket of Rahane, the Indian captain via a faint nick. Seven more wickets required for the expected and desperately hoped for victory.  The Sponge has faced 154 balls for just 37 runs. Enter the diminutive wicketkeeper Pant and a batsman with a penchant for big hitting and fast run scoring. Mr Cricket likes the line that Lyon is taking with his off-spin bowling. Perfect Garry. Noice Garry. It is Nathan Garry Lyon’s 100th test and so far, he has taken fewer wickets in this series than is his standard. Is it a case of too much pissing in Garry’s pocket?

It seems like the Indian cricket team have failed to read the script in this summer of cricket on the box. History has opposing teams crumbling on the final day like the pitch, but the pitch stood up in Sydney and it looks to be standing up in Brisbane. Tea is fast approaching and our commentators are back tracking on predictions like Winviz on steroids. Is India teaching the descendants of their colonial masters a cricketing lesson in 2021? Will Tim Paine keep the filth from his vocabulary? The pressure is building on the home team on a deck that has not seen an Aussie loss for 30 odd years. Fast bowling in these hot and humid conditions is not easy and can the Australian bowlers sustain the necessary intensity? Tim Paine miskeeps another ball behind the stumps to the approbation of a chorus of commentators. Warne is piping up and Gilchrist is the calm voice of reasoned commentary. Australia is expecting more from the wicket. Australians are expecting more from their team. Alcatraz is still batting despite a multiplicity of body blows to his person.

Somebody once said to me that “opinions are like arseholes, everybody has one.” Are expert arseholes more effective than their less acclaimed cousins? Fielding positions by the Australian cricket team are being debated like life and death measures. Tall, long limbed Aussie fast bowlers continue to steam in with minimal impact upon the Indian batsmen. Nathan Lyon’s magic fingers seem impotent upon this Gabba pitch. Have the previously indomitable fast bowlers met their kryptonite in the form of Pujara and his cohort of batting Indians?

Tired cricketers in hot and humid conditions in Brisbane. Weary commentators exhausted by their wild speculative efforts over 4 weeks. Passions are rising and inhibitive behaviours are loosening in the face of a fifth day pressure cooker situation. Harsha Bhogle maintains his bright and buoyant commentary in the midst of a sea of impending Australian gloom. An Australian summer of cricket on the box draws to a close with some 60 million viewers watching this test match around the world.

Our commentary team are calling “cometh the moment, cometh the man,” as Pat Cummins takes the new ball. Very first ball he removes Pujara LBW after a third umpire review shows the merest suggestion of the ball tracking hitting the bales of the stumps.  Junior proclaims a second wind in hope for the Aussies and the Gabba pitch doing the right thing on the fifth day. Pat Cummins, we have been told countless times, is the best fast bowler in the world, according to the stats. Come on Aussie, come on.

India has enjoyed plenty of support from their fans attending matches at the Adelaide Oval, MCG, SCG, and the Gabba. Colourful displays of flag waving and lots of loud voices calling out their warm appreciation. Reduced numbers due to Covid policies to prevent super spreader events in the cities have not dampened the crowd’s love of the test cricket matches. This last test is going down to the wire with Rishabh Pant belting boundaries willy nilly. India is spicing things up and seemingly doing Australia on toast. The likelihood of a draw is fading and a win for India is looking more and more likely.

Humanity’s love of technology has penetrated the fusty realm of test cricket, with multiple third umpire tools on display. Hotspot tracks heat marks generated from the ball’s contact with the bat. Snicko tracks vibrational sounds from the ball and bat. Ball tracking scientifically predicts the path of a bowled ball toward the wickets. Cameras catch the bowler’s feet in a bid to identify no balls. Where once we bemoaned the efforts of human umpires alone, now, we take issue with decisions and non-decisions to review. Technology and AI have become third eyes overlooking every important human decision.

India is closing in on the run chase target with boundaries coming off the bat of Washington Sundar. Tim Paine miskeeps another ball for 4 overthrow runs. Is Australia the toothless tiger, when it comes to India the 21C powerhouse of cricket? Congratulations India on winning the test series and the hearts and minds of many thousands of Australians.

The footy is back on and don’t we love it? The return of AFL to our TV sets, albeit in quieter stadiums, has been welcomed by most of us around the nation. The lack of fans at the footy has left a void into which the game’s commentators have volubly attempted to fill. This viewer is tired of being loudly lectured at by ex-players paid to become instant experts on strategy and everything else under the sun. I watch the game to enjoy the skills and contest on display. The players, generally, give their all in fierce performances on behalf of their teams. Sports commentators on Australian TV, and in the AFL in particular, seek to verbally fill every second with the sound of their own loud voices. I am sick of the incessant commentary and opinion giving, which is detracting from the spectacle of the game itself. AFL Commentary: Let the game speak for itself in the wonderful athletic performance of the players.

Too Many Loud Voices Commentating on AFL Games

Commentators of by-gone eras understood the importance of pauses and the sounds of silence in a commanding commentary of a top match. Even though they were on radio and their listeners could not see the game, except through their call of the match, they did not overdo things. Today, we face a bank of AFL game commentators made up of in-studio callers and boundary riders. This mix of media professionals and ex-players and coaches are paid to illuminate the complexities of AFL matches and teams. Channel Seven and Fox Sports own the TV rights to the presentation of AFL matches in Australia. Their teams of commentary people are voicing the pictures beamed into homes and phones around the country. I am sure that expert producers are advising these commentators on how they narrate the video of these AFL matches to the adoring viewers out there in suburbia and regional Australia.

TV Commentators Trying to Fill the COVID Void

Of late, the COVID-19 emptied stadiums have hosted scratch match like AFL games, as players transition to silence filled grounds accompanying their contests. More recently, the AFL copied the NRL in admixing pre-recorded sounds of crowds from games played in previous years. This canned crowd-noise has been artfully produced and has helped the TV viewer’s enjoyment of the game, in my opinion. The TV commentators on Seven and Fox, however, have ramped up their on-air performances in a bid, I reckon, to combat the absence of crowd-noise and excitement. The viewer is left with 90 minutes of non-stop chatter and boorish commentary by loud middle-aged men, with the occasional interjecting opinion of a token female. AFL commentary: Let the game speak for itself without all this hot air.

Leave OTT Commentary to the NRL

The NRL has always been famous on Nine for its OTT commentary by very loud blokes. League as a game is pretty simple, with teams of players running from one end of a ground to another throwing a ball. It has its exciting moments, of course, as pressure builds on defence and offensive runs break out to cross the line, ball in hand to touch it down. Big tackles and creative passes are additional entertaining components of the game. I have always thought that the commentators of the NRL have felt the need to ramp it up for the viewers at home. AFL by contrast is a far more complex game to play, with more moves, more players, and larger grounds. I consider that this indigenous Australian game is so full of athletic prowess that it speaks for itself in terms of excitement. AFL does not need the OTT call to make a great viewing spectacle. NRL probably doesn’t need it either. Too many insecure TV producers instructing their on-camera people to ramp it up loudly is the cause of the bane of our great game in my opinion. Copying Americanisms in the presentation of sporting events only detracts from our naturally terrific game.

I have taken to turning the sound off whilst watching games. Others I know have been listening to radio commentary of AFL games in conjunction with the vision on Seven or Fox with the sound down. The coronavirus pandemic and its consequent social distancing policies has provided an unexpected window into the essence of the game. Suddenly, AFL matches have been stripped of the hype surrounding them. Pure football is on display, free of the mob’s reaction to it.  I don’t blame individual commentators, as they are doing their job and probably being influenced by producers and network policies. Bruce McAvaney is almost an institution, but he does prattle on incessantly. I miss Dennis Cometti for his adroit witticisms and sparing commentary during games. There are too many so-called experts offering opinions about players, teams and games. David King is one who lectures boorishly during games and he has many compadres. I don’t want to hear all this unsubstantiated crap about why teams are underperforming. I just want to watch the game and I suspect there are many others who feel similarly to me. These seemingly endless voiced pontifications are detracting from the experience of watching AFL on TV. I love the game, but my love is being sorely tested right now.

The ridiculous attempts to justify opinions, with one or two selected moments from a game illustrating negative on-field behaviours, are downright silly. What do they say about “damned lies and statistics” being used to indemnify whatever opinion is sought? Sports commentary is and should be a hallowed occupation and role. The men and women employed in this profession are stewards of the game. They are instruments there to add to our love of the game. We, the viewing public, elevate these voices to a position beyond the chorus or as spokespersons for our chorus. Right now, there is way too much of a good thing going on. Too much expert opinion weighing the spectacle of the game down. AFL commentary has become school ma’amish and hectoring. Ex-player ‘so-called’ experts are volubly nagging coaches, players and teams for their apparent failures. The game deserves better. The players deserve better. Shut up and let the game speak for itself!

©Robert Hamilton

I must confess to an irrational dislike of dentists and all things dental prior to writing this post. I know that it is probably unfair to hold such feelings toward a valuable part of our society and that they most likely deserve better, but there it is. Therefore, when advising quality content creation for dentists you the reader can take what I say with a grain of salt rather than morphine on the matter. The advent of the internet has served these oral surgeons better than some in that it provides a platform for detailed discussion about their work.

Dazzling Stories of Wondrous Cosmetic Dentistry

My childhood experiences, strapped into that dental chair with a hairy fist grasping pliers stuffed down my gob wrenching out teeth, may be shared by others, I do not know. The antiseptic smells of that dental surgery on Canning Highway still chill me to this day. The blood, saliva and choking remain in my memory like a trauma from another age, when torture was common in western lands. However, to the task at hand, quality content creation for dentists is an essential ingredient for digital marketing in this day and age. Dazzling stories of wondrous cosmetic dentistry can engage readers and viewers everywhere and inspire them to part with their hard-earned cash.

SEO in the Health & Dental Space

The aspiration to curtail splayed teeth in one’s smile is universal I am sure. To not look like a crooked horse in the mirror must be a boon for those born that way. Dentistry has been a cause for celebration for many who may have hailed from the backwaters of our nation, where brothers may have married sisters in days gone by. A quality Sydney content producer like Content Maximiser can impart messages of importance to the right market for their dental clients. SEO in the health and dental space has never been more integral to the success of these businesses. Quality content creation for dentists is an integral part of effective 21C marketing.

It all comes down to telling stories, as I have mentioned quite a few times. It is not enough to do good work; you must also share the news of that good work with as many people as possible. This is where social media and the digital realm come into it. A good dentist needs to have the professional support of content creators and developers. Skilled artisans working side by side in their creation of feel good stories for a hungry public. The ugly duckling who became a graceful swan. The clown who transformed into a smiling Madonna. Did I mention that I am not mad about dentists?

Many working people struggle with the concept of content development for their digital marketing. Somehow it is counterintuitive for them to record their working lives on the various digital platforms. It is as if they feel they have done the work in the real world and resent copying it down on social media and their website. In fact, it requires an expansion and elucidation in the digital realm for it to be effective in promoting their work and business. For electricians and tradies content development can be a bane rather than a boon. This is why it is the smart move to put it in the hands of a professional content marketer like me.

Content Marketing Illuminates Like Light Dispels Darkness

In the same way that a light dangles from the ceiling to illuminate us from the darkness, embracing this concept frees folks from ignorance. Content marketing is the main game now and it requires top quality content development to reward businesses with success. It is not enough to just be a good tradie or contractor in the 21C, you must also spread your fame far and wide or at least thoroughly through your local patch. When a potential client searches for an electrician online our tradie needs to come up prominently in that search. Electricians and tradies content development delivers that much desired result.

Tell Your Story to Succeed

There are multiple ways to achieve this, but content development is the most organic, economic and long lasting of them. It all comes back to telling stories, as we Homo sapiens love a good story. We remember a story told to us about a situation much more than a loose load of facts without any interconnecting narrative. Social media is a platform for story telling about our own lives. Websites are most effective when couched in the guise of tales told and stories shared. Tell your story to succeed in love, life and career.

Let me help you tell your story. It doesn’t need to be a struggle it just takes a mind shift. We are all human beings, whether we lift a spanner, hammer a nail, or spark light. We all have tales to tell that can put us in a good light. The world would be a sadder place without the stories we read and hear. Content development is story development really, as we tie the strands of your skillset together to create a bridge for others to reach you.

One of the most striking things I have observed during this global pandemic is how dependent we, as a 21C civilisation, have become on recreational activities. The absence of sports on the TV and from the daily calendar has left a gaping hole in the lives of many. Likewise, the removal of live entertainment and other shared recreational pursuits has reduced our lives in a number of noticeable ways. The majority of affected people are watchers of sport, rather than actual participants of games of sports. The disappearance of the football codes, the cancellation and postponement of major events like Wimbledon, the Masters, the Olympics, Grand Prix races, and more have shrunk the worlds of millions of fans around the globe. It is clear that you don’t know what you have until it is taken away. The price of sport and other non-essential activities at a time of COVID crisis seems unimaginably high.

Sport & Entertainment Contain the More Engrossing Narratives

Governments bang on about the economy and money is an all-important factor in our survival. Working for a living, however, does not grab the imaginations of modern folk like their love of sports, entertainment and recreational activities. The increasing automation of work and workplaces has contributed, I think, to a growing disassociation within ordinary people from their jobs. The specialisation of employment has, also, meant that many workers feel marginalised from the big picture, when it comes to the economic community. Sports and entertainments contain narratives with clearer and more tightly focused plotlines and characters. Tribal affiliations to football teams overcome, to some extent, the diffused nature of living in large cities. The proliferation of sole traders, small businesses, and the casualisation of workforces leaves people with little sense of belonging within their occupations. Work matters as a necessity but fails to inspire our lives in many instances. The price of sport and other non-essential activities at a time of COVID crisis may just be priceless.

The Suspension of Economic & Cultural Activities

This coronavirus crisis has suspended many economic and cultural activities right around the world. Globally and nationally, we have attempted to thwart the spread of this deadly virus by quarantining infection and socially distancing citizens from each other wherever possible. The result has seen hundreds of thousands of older and more vulnerable people fall victim to this disease and in many cases die. Out telecommunication networks, satellites, and media have allowed us to watch hourly and daily reports following the spread of COVID-19 globally and the preventative policies instigated by governments. So far, in comparison with the Spanish Flu pandemic of the early 20C, we have contained and limited the number of fatalities from COVID-19. The 1918 Pandemic (H1N1 virus), according to the CDC, infected 500 million people and killed 50 million of them. A major contributor to the genesis of the Spanish Flu was WW1, as it was first identified within military personnel.

Flattening the Curve

The world has been in a lockdown for a couple of months since the emergence of this novel coronavirus in Wuhan, China in January. The timing of these lockdown policies has varied from nation to nation, as governments and their health agencies have sought to contain the effects of the virus. Flattening the curve has entered the modern lexicon, as planners and leaders plotted their way via strategies designed to contain the effects of this deadly virus. The rapid spread of the contagion was accelerated by large crowds at sporting events in Australia, the US and Europe. Organisers and government agencies moved to suspend these events and to initially remove crowds from attending them as spectators.

The Death of Sport

Suddenly, sports fans found themselves in lockdown at home with no live sports to watch on TV. Reruns have been on high rotation on air as sporting clubs and organisations furiously fought to stave off impending bankruptcy. Their revenue streams, via match ticket sales and broadcasting deals for games, have completely ceased. Many of these entities operated financially on a week to week basis with next to no reserves of capital savings to draw upon if something like this occurred. Players and coaches on big salaries, high fixed costs for stadiums and other infrastructure, and no income for who knows how long. Sport, the high roller in the room, the celebrity industry, was in the toilet with no foreseeable way out. Sports shows on the box were filled with opinion and uncertainty. The death of sport garnered a lot more attention than the thousands of elderly and vulnerable people dying in many circles.

Will sport re-emerge from its enforced hibernation? In Australia, the National Rugby League has promised to kick off again with no fans at games on May 28, 2020. The AFL is looking at a mid-June date. Football in Europe is starting up again. The Australian codes and their organisations will be leaner through economic necessity. Players have taken pay cuts, as have industry staffers, and many people will lose their jobs forever. Public commentators have talked about the importance of sport to the people, as a sign of the return to normality within our communities. Sport and entertainments, however, are luxuries of life and non-essential activities. It is questionable whether they will survive, as we have known them, if this virus returns and no vaccine can be created. Perhaps we should prepare ourselves for the possibility of a life sans sport? The price of sport and other non-essential activities at a time of COVID crisis may in the end be too great.

Historically, sport, as we know it, is a fairly recent occurrence. The Olympic Games is a modern revival of an ancient local event involving a handful of Greek city states. The Modern Olympics did not start until 1896, with the first event held in Athens. Now, we know it as a massive international sporting festival held every four years in large cities around the globe. Back at the turn of the 19C into the 20C, it was a far smaller affair and it was a huge struggle to mount the Olympics and maintain it going forward. Sport had no cultural value or prestige back then. It was virtually non-existent in fact. Christianity frowned upon such physical activities, which were not directly connected to earning a living. Having fun with your mates was not a suitable occupation for good Christians. Team sports began at the public schools in England in the 19C, with Rugby School kicking off the eponymously named football game around 1845 through the championing of physical exercise and games by their headmaster Thomas Arnold. A certain Dr W.P. Brookes, also, in England during the 19C, widely promoted the benefits of physical exercise to young men and drove the establishment of organised sport. A Frenchman, Baron Pierre de Coubertin, is credited with the founding of the Modern Olympics and he was greatly influenced by Arnold and Brookes.

Cricket can claim an earlier date in the evolution of modern sport, with some evidence for cricket games being played for gambling purposes in the late 17C. Cricket was played by teams throughout the 18C and primarily by parish teams competing in village cricket competitions. Cricket would join rugby as games prominently played at British public schools in the 19C. Association football or soccer was codified at Cambridge University in 1848, but there has been folk football played since Medieval times from the around the 8C. The desire to kick a ball around has been with us since time immemorial I imagine, with balls made from pig’s bladders and the like. Human beings love to compete and bet on the outcome of such contests. Will the price of sport and other non-essential activities at a time of COVID crisis be too high, despite our intrinsic love of sport?

Modern sport is characterised by superstar players on massive salaries and gambling and sponsorship dollars fuelling this juggernaut industry. Sport has become the panacea of the masses in the 20C and into the 21C. We have people not really caring about what they do for a living but passionately caring about their football team. Populations vague about the performance and activities of their political leaders but intensely scrutinising sports players and teams. The modern world, it seems, is too complex and convoluted for many of its participants and they would prefer to concern themselves with the smaller stage of their sporting interests. Human beings enjoy the analogy of the game of life, where winners and losers compete for material prizes over the course of the journey. We love games, both playing and watching others play them. Some of us like to bet on the outcome, to see if we can beat the system and be proved right in our choices.

Will fans feel the same way about their sport, when it comes back without live spectators at games for prolonged periods? Will highly paid sports people still resonate positively with fans living in a depressed economy for years to come? Will these fans and businesses be able to afford their love of sport going forward into this new world? How will sponsorship levels react to sports played without crowds and will there be a psychological impact upon the fan base? These questions will be pertinent to the survival of sport as we know it. If the winter months come to the southern hemisphere and COVID-19 begins to increase the death toll, within our community, these things may dampen our love of modern sport within our culture. The price of sport and other non-essential activities at a time of COVID crisis may, indeed, become too great to pay.

©Robert Hamilton

So, you want to write one of those moody police detective dramas seen on TV. Well, here are the secret ingredients necessary to make it happen. Firstly, you need two characters who will be the main protagonists in your riveting episodic series. These will be two of the most fucked up cops ever let loose on an unsuspecting general public. Personal problems? Each of these young- and good-looking police detectives will be riddled with a full menu of intimate and social dysfunctional issues. The producers will cast two actors who look like they have been working as apprentice hairdressers and are the least likely looking cops ever to have walked the earth. This kind of thing is par for the course when it comes to moody detective shows on Netflix and the other streaming services. They understand that the networks and TV people desperately want to appeal to a younger demographic and will cast authenticity to the four winds to do it. Now, pay attention because this is how to write a killer moody police drama series.

Tips for Writing Drop-Dead Good Cop Shows

Next, you begin the story with a crime scene complete with forensic team in white protective jump suits. A naked dead girl or child should be artfully displayed in a fashion to engender a visceral response from your audience. Of course, a touch of dry comedic banter between our police boy and girl and a grizzled youngish forensic pathologist would go down a treat here. This is your moment to introduce the main character and his or her problems. Their mood and appearance will be coloured by their marriage/relationship issues, drug or alcohol substance abuse problem, parenting dilemma, and/or trendy minor disability or mental illness. Mild autism/Asperger Syndrome is currently the flavour of the month, but it could be cerebral palsy, MS, blindness, deafness, or a rare genetic disorder. The second of our main police detectives could be on the LGBTQI+ spectrum to add further spice to our gritty cop show. These are all a part of how to write a killer moody police drama series. Perhaps, some Nordic noir or a sardonic Belgian affair.

The Golden Rule of Successful Police Shows

The police HQ setting, and ensemble of supporting characters is of infinite importance here. This is your blue family home, where viewers will be subject to hours of situation-based interactions between our protagonists and their sidekicks on the force. Desks with prominent computer screens will take centre stage in most shots. Here your viewers will meet another incredibly youthful chief of police who will endeavour to make life and policing as difficult as possible for our main characters. The golden rule of all successful police dramas is to make the police as nasty and inflexible within their interactions with each other as possible. Why anyone would ever choose to join the police force after watching these shows is a mystery to me. The other vital setting here is the situation room with large white board or state of the art tablet surfaces for sweeping gestures. Here photographs of key suspects, witnesses and the like are prominently displayed throughout the series. In many ways, this is a storyboard to assist the audience in following the many ups and downs, twists and turns of our convoluted story. Possible villains are ranked on the case evidence boards with lines connecting them to victims and crimes. Many an hour will be passed by faithful viewers watching their favourite characters present updates to their fellow officers on the case.

Netflix demands at least 12-16 episodes for the first series of one of these uber moody crime shows. Much of the filming of the show will be taken up with scenic shots of landscapes. Geographic features like hills, valleys, cliffs, crevices, dells, rivers, lakes, dunes, oceans, bays, plains, moors, plateaus, mountains, whatever but it must be strikingly beautiful if at all possible. These exterior landscapes will be your motifs of the inner landscapes residing within your characters. The tone of the production is set here amid the stark natural beauty of your program’s backdrop. These images when combined with your show’s moody music create the whole ambience of the unfolding mystery for the viewer. During the first 8-10 episodes of the series your main characters will have no idea who dunnit. These two detectives will aimlessly wander around in a miasma of self-induced pain caused by their fucked-up lives and dysfunctional relationships. I sometimes feel like the director of these shows has dunked his or her head in a fish tank and filmed scenes on this basis. Thus, we the viewers must follow this lead and journey down into the depths of a murky story. The writer need not bother with clever clues and red herrings in these 21C productions, as it is all about the personal stories of our detectives. Mothers who cannot be there for their children. Partners who have burnt their bridges with their husbands and wives.  Bent cops struggling with gambling debts. Immoral policemen battling with their inner demons. These characters barely have the time to bother with the murder case at hand being so busy with their legions of personal issues and challenges. Our young lead actors may even appear to be stressed by the odd bad hair day at this juncture in the series.

By this stage in your writing process, you will have established all the necessary facets of the moody police detective drama. Your audience will have journeyed with you up until this crucial fork in the road. They will have shared the adulterous behaviour of one of your lead detectives, empathised with their desperate search for meaning in a frantic one-night stand. They will have suffered the disappointment of letting their child down by working late and missing a key school performance. They will have ground their teeth in frustration at their repeated inability to come to terms with the nefarious criminal at large. Everyone is getting sick and tired of nothing really happening and the very limited progress with the case. Now, is the time to wind up the loose strings, join some of the dots, and attempt to conclude your narrative with some modicum of rationality. It is here that many viewers will roll their eyes and mutter to themselves “come on, there is no way that could happen!” However, despite this you must soldier on and string out the audience for another half dozen or so episodes. Yes, he really was her half-sister’s amor prior to meeting her long-lost uncle on that fateful evening. Of course, mitochondrial DNA revealed that they shared a maternal link. The forensic science lab is a great source for unlikely solutions to faintly ridiculous possibilities.

Remember that you will want to bring back at least one of your main characters for the second series. So, don’t be too hasty in killing off much loved characters. These inventions, these figments of your imagination are your investments in a possible future for your writing career. Treat them with some degree of care upon the pages of your gritty police story. New lows in policing behaviour in terms of strategy and protocols are regularly depicted in these shows, especially at crucial moments. Highly trained cops suddenly drop their guns, get knocked out by villains, fail to adequately guard prisoners, turn their backs, quite literally, on danger, and fail to nail the baddies. Real police watching these shows must shake their heads in disbelief at the antics displayed by these hairdresser’s apprentices pretending to be senior detectives on the murder squad. So, good luck with your writing and I hope to see your moody offering up there on the TV screen very soon.

©Robert Hamilton

Life on planet Earth emerged single celled some 4 billion years ago. Organic molecules formed under a blanket of hydrogen. RNA arose prior to the later evolution of DNA and the proteins necessary for catalysing life. The latest theory posits that an ancient cataclysm may have jump-started life on earth, perhaps a giant meteor struck the earth. This collision has delivered the precious metals, which are sown within the earth’s veneer, according to geologists. Water would have formed on the planet’s surface within some 50 million years of the fateful collision. Water to host the genesis of organic chemical reactions capable of the creation of RNA. Since that kicking off point, life on Gaia has come a long way and now boasts nearly 8 billion Homo sapiens. Although the COVID-19 coronavirus global pandemic is doing its best to trim that figure. The history of this planet is thick with brutal manifestations of violent stupidity in the form of armed conflicts and holocausts. It is clear, however, that in the face of this novel viral menace the world can no longer afford stupid people.

How Do We Define Stupidity?

How do we define stupidity among the genus Homo sapiens? “Let me count the ways.” A bog-standard dictionary tells us – “behaviour that shows a lack of good sense or judgement.” Its definition going on to state – “a comedy of infantile stupidity.” The much-maligned Wikipedia informs us that – “stupidity is a quality or state of being stupid, or an act or idea that exhibits properties of being stupid.”

“The more stupid one is, the closer one is to reality. The more stupid one is, the clearer one is. Stupidity is brief and artless, while intelligence squirms and hides itself. Intelligence is unprincipled, but stupidity is honest and straightforward.” Fyodor Dostoevsky

In this example, we see the attractiveness of simplistic answers to complex problems or situations. Blaming other people for your own problems fits deftly into this pigeonhole. President Trump and Secretary of State Mike Pompeo banging on about China being the sole cause of the United States of America’s massive issues with the coronavirus pandemic is a keen example of this. Democracy is trumpeted as the greatest political system in the world in the 21C. It began in Ancient Greece in Athens in the sixth century BCE. The demos are the common people, the mob, and democratic leaders pander to the mob. Stupidity exists everywhere and especially flourishes within the mob. President Trump is facing an election for a second term as so-called leader of the free world and his comments must be seen in light of this. Can the world afford a leader pandering to a mob seeking simplistic answers to complex situations during this time of crisis?

Stupid is As Stupid Does

“The man whose whole life is spent in performing a few simple operations, of which the effects are perhaps always the same, or very nearly the same, has no occasion to exert his understanding or to exercise his invention in finding out expedients for removing difficulties which never occur. He naturally loses, therefore, the habit of such exertion, and generally becomes as stupid and ignorant as it is possible for a human creature to become.” Adam Smith

The ABC has reported a spike in racists attacks in Australia during the COVID-19 coronavirus pandemic. Chinese Australians have been spat on, physically and verbally attacked by denizens of this country wishing to vent their spleen upon easy targets. Stupid and ignorant people encouraged in all likelihood by the comments of politicians like Trump and Home Affairs minister Peter Dutton. Poor leaders who enjoy deflecting responsibility for serious problems onto unsuspecting foreign targets. The blame game is played with aplomb by those who pander to racist sections of their populace. In a democracy those who can avoid carrying the can for the bad stuff and make it someone or something else’s problem will thrive among stupid voters. Adam Smith in his quote above identifies an uncomfortable truth within populous democratic nations. Those who do not bother with much outside of their own lifestyles are ill-equipped to deal with crises and complex issues facing whole nations. Governments around the world employ teams of public relations experts whose job it is to ensure that what comes out of the mouths of ministers placates and panders to popular opinion. Re-electability sits atop the list of most important qualities that a politician must exhibit at all times. Can the world really afford these kinds of leaders during a crisis such as COVID-19?

Education is the answer to the premise that the world can no longer afford stupid people. I am talking about real education not merely technical training. Over the last 50 years, there has been a concerted shift away from educating the whole person toward narrow focused technical training at the tertiary level. Undergraduate students beginning a bachelor’s degree must do just two units which focus on the humanities – people. Understanding a complex and sophisticated world, where human rights are to the fore demands that all people be exposed to new learning about these issues. Tradition does not cut the mustard when it comes to progressing our way through a fairer and more equitable world. Pluralism, inclusion, tolerance, and the like are not generally taught very well at home. Poorly educated parents cannot be expected to inculcate their children with attitudes beyond their own experience and understanding.

Australia has been described as a nation born out of a brutal meritocracy, which was established via our history as a penal colony for Britain. The ‘she’ll be right mate’ ethos emerged as a result of this. The bar of public standards was set relatively low in this nation at its outset and it remains somewhat diminished on that basis. Australia has been ironically called the lucky country, originally by Donald Horne in 1964. Like many such things the irony has been lost among the mob and now is thought to refer to our rich veins of saleable minerals, our mainly white island enclave away from competing claims and our sunny prosperity. In this current climate of virus inspired crisis, the government in Australia is propping up certain defined sections of our economy. The casualisation of the workforce over the last three decades has not stopped all these members of our community being left high and dry. Ditto many of those involved in the Arts. These folks are not seen as essential parts of the Australian economy by the Morrison government and thus are not to be supported through this difficult time. Perhaps, we will see Australia returning to a state identified by Donald Horne, a place where philistines feel at home at the expense of anyone else.

“It is only because of their stupidity that they are able to be so sure of themselves.” Franz Kafka

Armed protesters taking to the streets in cities around the USA demanding that their world go back to normal and be reopened for business. In Michigan they shouted anti-government slogans and compared Gretchen Whitmer the state’s governor to Adolf Hitler. Militia groups strutted their stuff complete with automatic weapons held high. Trump was their guy and he wanted America to go back to work despite the climbing 80 000+ death toll from COVID-19. This is a country, which boasts vast inequalities of wealth with trillionaires and many millions of people living well below the poverty line existing together in parallel universes. The world can no longer afford stupid people and this virus is eliminating vulnerable sections of our population.

“You can make your superhero a psychopath, you can draw gut-splattering violence, and you can call it a ‘’graphic novel,” but comic books are still incredibly stupid.” Bill Watterson

Comic books used to be for kids and now we live in an age where adults regularly watch superhero movies. In this dumbed-down world, jam-packed with social media filled gossip and everybody peering into phone screens, a silent invisible killer has snuck up on the world. Where is superman? Where is spiderman, batman, wonder woman and all the other superheroes?  Oh, they are not real, bummer. Unfortunately, Trump is real, and he is not playing some demented villain on the screen of some superhero movie. The President is encouraging his citizens to inject disinfectant into their bodies because it might kill the COVID-19 infection.

“The more often a stupidity is repeated, the more it gets the appearance of wisdom.” Voltaire

The really dangerous thing about Trump as President is that we have all become accustomed to his stupidity. In the beginning, it was gob-smackingly unbelievable what came out of that man’s mouth. However, these days it is the new normal and as the world careens towards hell in a hand basket we do nothing but smile knowingly. Throughout this global crisis we have watched Trump daily making a complete ass (arse) of himself at press conferences. He is blaming China for the virus and making false claims about it being invented in a Chinese laboratory. Trump takes no responsibility for the plight of America and its unpreparedness to cope with this pandemic. In Australia we have lesser conservative politicians taking their lead from Trump in directing blame toward the Chinese. At a time when we all should be focused on fixing the problem and finding a vaccine stupid people are pointing the finger and playing the blame game. The world can no longer afford stupid people.

©Robert Hamilton

I want to make a confession first up, which is that I hate the word blog and all its extensions – blogging, blogger, blogged and blogs. Short for ‘web log’ apparently, blog, is an ugly word let’s face it. It sounds to me like a colloquial term fit for acts of defecation. Thus, the art of blogging is akin to a ballerina farting loudly throughout a performance of the Nutcracker Suite. OK got that off my chest. I wonder who came up with the term in the first place? I Googled it and according to a Wikipedia entry ‘weblog’ was so named by one Jom Barger in 1997 and one Peter Merholz reduced the two words to ‘blog’ in 1999 via a phrase posted on his blog. Now you know.

Blogging is an Emerging Genre

Blogging is writing, a form of written communication in the digital age. Blogs are most commonly websites carrying posts containing opinion pieces. This emerging genre of written communication has been influenced by something called search engine optimisation (SEO). Very many blogs are written to improve the ranking and traffic to associated websites. This poses serious credibility questions about many of the blog postings that you may read on the internet. Of course, there are blogs written without recourse to SEO, but they are definitely in the minority.

The 400-Word Blog Post

The 400-word post has become a stand-alone genre in the 21C. This word length can generally satisfy the sampling spiders of search engine algorithms. There are rules that writers of these posts must adhere to if they are to attract the positive attention of search engines. Content on websites, in the form of text primarily and images to a lesser extent, is regularly searched by Google, Bing, Safari etc. The art of blogging must enhance the chances of keyword searches coming up with quality results for those end users seeking specific information.

In my role as a professional blogger I have written 400-word posts on just about every topic under the sun. My mother always said that I had the gift of the gab and I have channelled this talent for bullshitting into the written digital medium. I use the term bullshitting not to mean outright lies but rather the willy nilly casting of authoritative opinions. In fact, my modus operandi is to always tell the truth in my blogging wherever possible. I have described myself as a hack journalist of the digital age – a paid writer churning out endless 400-word posts for the direct benefit of clients I usually never see or hear. To keep my sanity, I focus on the message contained within my penned 400 words (no actual pen is involved). If I can communicate a sage message to the readers of my posts, then, I can walk away with some modicum of satisfaction.

Two topics that have more in common than you might think are subjects I have been commissioned to write on a lot – sex and plumbing. Both practitioners of these ancient occupations, it seems, are either not great with words or are simply too busy to write their own copy. The two areas share concerns with couplings and both charge like wounded bulls. I was once critiqued by a phone sex operator client and censured for writing content that was too dirty. There are degrees of indecency and obscenity, even in the art of blogging. Dentistry is another demanding client of my blogging and I can detail great swathes of dental lore for those who may wish to know of these things. Superannuation and those who deal in such financial products and insurance, also, regularly call upon my skill set. Lawyers have recently come to the party and especially those who dabble in compensation law. Money lenders, whores, electricians and plumbers are all members of my art of blogging SEO family. DJs and wedding singers have joined the club, and now that I think about it, a bouncy castle provedore, vape shops, landscape gardeners, builders, conveyancers, plasterers, carpenters, healers, chiropractors, herbalists, bookies, locksmiths, security specialists, lighting shops, air conditioning contractors, speciality food stores, natural health providers, debt collection agencies, phone sex operators, life coaches, personal development seminars, sound therapy, disability advocates, and my apologies to all those I can no longer remember. I did, however, at the time compose authoritative text upon the concerns of all these agencies. Research is an important factor in the art of blogging. Knowing where to look and knowing how to discern the valuable from the hot air is of paramount importance.

I think about the demise of old-world genres like letter writing and diarising. Emails purport to having replaced the letter but these two written expressions of communication have very different characteristics. Emails in my experience are generally written with an air of haste and target an immediate response from the reader in the main. The instantaneous reality of the medium permeates the content a lot of the time. Personally, I primarily associate emails with work, probably because this was the realm in which the medium was first introduced into my life. To this day, I have difficulty in dealing with very personal emails. Diary entries are a better fit with digital web logs and many owners of blog sites would consider their blogging as public diarising. Diaries were usually private affairs until their publication post-mortem for the celebrated and famous. The digital age, especially via social media, has reduced the realm of the private self, our inner worlds. Thoughts once kept private are splashed out on Facebook, Twitter and in blog posts. More recent generations of us seem compelled to list their lives on social media platforms. Things are more real for them when they can see them on the screens of their ubiquitous phones.

The art of blogging is now a prerequisite for the modern human being. Being able to compose a readable post on a topic, most usually autobiographical, is an essential 21C skill. We are all asked to write our own profiles for an abundance of digital mediums deemed necessary for work and personal activities. Self-promotion is a basic requirement of the modern world. This means that a grasp of your own language in the written form is more important than ever before in the history of humanity. Alas, there is a surfeit of bad copy on the web. There are very many poorly written posts and pages among the trillions online. Whether this is due to incompetent software programs, digital copywriters in the third world, and/or illiterate website owners it is not a great cache of written communication by human beings. The world wide web lacks a good editor.

Our kids, are, and will be, looking to the internet for their written language learning. Let us hope that they quickly learn to become discerning in their perusing of these billions of blogs and web sites. The digital realm is now our global library of text and images. The art of blogging is having its 21^st birthday. It is a young entity and, perhaps, should be judged accordingly. In time, like most things, it may well evolve into something worth watching. I will be doing my best to sustain the genre into the 21C. Perhaps, vlogs will replace the blog, with hacked human beings too busy to bother with something as boring as reading. Watching and listening may well be the way forward into the future. The death of writing and reading something worth reading will be an awful shame in this blogger’s opinion. Life may well become so pre-digestible that all information will be masticated prior to consumption by the children of tomorrow. The glazed look in his and her eyes while hovering over their screen was a harbinger of the demise of Homo sapiens. If only the art of blogging could have saved us from our deletion from the main game in time. I will write a 400-word post on this and hold my breath.

©Robert Hamilton

The coronavirus crisis has revealed the true state of what it is like to live in the USA, especially for those on the economic fringe of this large nation. The terrifying rates of death in New York during the COVID-19 global pandemic strikes at the heart of the great American dream. Watching this unfold from a vantage point outside of the US it is startling to see. You cannot help but feel that the land of the free does not look out for its citizens in the way many other western nations do for their denizens. American Pie: The rotten slice revealed to the world.

This American Coronavirus Crisis is No Hollywood Movie

America has a 24/7 public relations behemoth called Hollywood churning out good time stories involving the bright and bold USA. A combination of economic muscle and human naivety has force fed many parts of the world on a diet rich in Hollywood movies. This has cast a spell around the globe declaring America a land rich in happiness and opportunities for material advancement. In reality the US is a nation of massive economic inequality among its residents, with small numbers of super rich and vast swathes of the working poor. The middle class of America are firmly entrenched in a deepening economic hole made worse with every passing generation.

Armed Americans Demanding End to COVID-19 Lockdown

The sight of armed Americans protesting the shut down of their country is shocking to many. Holding their automatic weapons high, these people are demanding the ending of government enforced lockdowns and the resumption of the economy. In this nation, which does not look after many of its vulnerable citizens, it is understandable that sections of the community are solely focused on looking out for themselves. President Trump supports these protesters and in daily announcements urges state governors to get their local economies back to work. Meanwhile, the death toll in New York and in other American cities continue to climb.

African Americans are conspicuously appearing in coronavirus death and infection rates at a higher rate than their white American brethren. Those who live on the fringes of the great American dream are finding their slice of the American pie to be rotten to the core. Generational economic neglect delivers poor health outcomes for these members of the US community and makes them particularly vulnerable to diseases like the COVID-19 coronavirus. Trump is looking around for people to blame in an endless game of finger pointing far and wide. China is a favourite target and the World Health Organisation along with it.

Trump is shutting the borders of the USA in a case of locking the stable door long after the horses have bolted. The coronavirus crisis has held up a mirror for Americans to gaze into and ponder the extreme unfairness of their society. The poor are left to sicken and die on the streets of New York, whilst the rich have long fled to their coastal hideaways far from the epicentre of the virus. American pie: the rotten slice revealed to the world, especially for the tens of thousands of poor.